It's easy to look at the woman in the elevator at the children's hospital with one child in a wheelchair, and the other screaming because she doesn't want to get on the elevator, while also carrying braces and a walker in her hands. It's easy to look at her and think, "Wow, she's got her hands full!"
But you never say it out loud.
Because maybe she does have her hands full. Maybe her hands are more than full and you have no idea what she's been through.
Maybe her hands are full, but underneath all of it, she's dealing with her own health problems.
She's fighting to get her son an equal opportunity for education.
She's dealing with the lies and rumors that have made their way around, and try to convince her that she doesn't deserve her kids.
It's easy to think she must be overwhelmed.
She works full time at an entry level job.
What you don't know when you say to that woman that she "has her hands full", is how much she's accomplished.
The child that is screaming also can't sleep without her mom lying next to her.
The child that is in therapy is finally taking steps on his own, learning how to work with legs that won't move on their own, and sang a song to his mom for the first time ever last week.
This mother, although she spends most waking hours taking the children to daycare and working, looks forward to getting home with the kids, talking about their day, and getting ready for bed.
She cherishes bath time, good night kisses and cuddles, because she knows the next day she won't see them again until the evening time.
She is thankful for the daycare provider who loves those kids as much as they love her. She is thankful that she does not feel judged for working.
The woman on the elevator dug herself out of debt that she acquired during her marriage because finances were always an issue. But now that she is caught up on her finances, she can breathe a little now.
It is so easy to look at that woman on the elevator, or with screaming kids in a shopping cart, and say "Wow, you have your hands full!"
Don't.
Because what you don't know, is what she did to get here to this moment, keeping herself and her kids alive, happy, and loved.
Yes, it took a lot of work for her to love herself.
If you look at that woman and feel the need to say something, tell her how proud you are of her.
She has makeup on; she tried to look normal today. Like her anxiety has no place here today.
Tell her how beautiful her kids are.
She feels mom guilt every day.
Tell her she's killing it.
Because she is.
"I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves. "
-Louise Hay
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