Not Another Single Mom Blog!

To most, it's no surprise I've been experimenting with dating. Some may gasp at how I could start dating so soon after such heartbreak. But my heartbreak was an open door. I have seen people mourning for years over a relationship that was a mere fantasy. So yeah, I could wallow in self-pity and mourn the marriage that I thought would last forever, or I can have some fun and maybe find something amazing along the way. Yes, I did a lot of self-discovery and soul searching, but that also means I have made mistakes along the way. Let me rephrase that. I've learned a lot of lessons along the way. Most importantly, I've learned that I'm in charge of my happiness now, and that means I can pick and choose who I date. But that also means, I can be rejected, too. Rejection and abandonment are huge issues for a lot of people including myself. Dating is roulette for anxiety. I'll go in chronological order from the first person I dated, to the most recent. ...

October 10th marks six months since the last time I left my home in La Grande, Oregon. When I moved over to Eastern Oregon, it was always the plan that I would spend a few days here at home with my parents for medical appointments for Isaiah. The trouble is, I ended up spending a lot more time away from my home than we had planned on. In April, Isaiah had another round of appointments and I was set to be here for ten days. That was a short amount of time compared to the six weeks I had to spend away the previous year. Ten thousand miles. I drove then thousand miles for medical appointments, local and far away. When I was away, that is when the first change happened. That is when my soon-to-be-ex-husband first told me his feelings had changed. That is the moment I knew I needed a change, too. I've battled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can really remember, for one reason or another. Sometimes there wasn't even a reason, which only people who suffer from me...

October is Spina Bifida Awareness month. Each year that October approaches, it's always so crazy to look back on previous years and reflect on how much things have changed. There have been five Octobers since Isaiah was first diagnosed with spina bifida. Let's rewind a little bit: It's not a secret that my pregnancy with Isaiah was unplanned. He was my first pregnancy, and I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. I knew that abortion was an option, but never even considered it. I was in Reno, NV with my best friend and my parents when I missed my period. My now ex husband and I were on a break at the time but were still in contact. I told him I hadn't started my period yet and he bought pregnancy tests and chocolate for me to have when I got back. I was so scared when that line showed up, bright red. But I took it for what it was. Tyler and I decided to give it a shot and try to work things out for our baby. It was rocky, and as I mentione...