Not Another Single Mom Blog!

I've tried to come up with blog prompts that resemble a more lighthearted approach to writing, but I think writing about the things that hurt the most is more important. These kind of issues are things that people actually endure every day, but they get ignored. Not to say people don't endure things that aren't terribly depressing; but if the majority of Americans are depressed or have been at some point, why the fuck wouldn't we just talk about it? I don't like to place a lot of value on holidays, and maybe that's because of the losses that I have been through. Holidays are supposed to be a time of cheer, joyfulness, and gathering, right? What if something happens and suddenly the holidays become a time of fear and anxiety? What if they become a time of bad memories and feelings of emptiness? Can we just be real about it? Becoming a single mother is something I absolutely never saw myself doing. Then again, I've done a lot of things I never saw myself d...

Since I've been dating, it's been a broken record of my life. When I get into the deeper corners, even with friends, my life story just sounds like a series of unfortunate events. They look at me with concern in their eyes and tell me "You don't deserve that." And let me tell you why they're wrong. "They" say not to let events define your life, but shape you as a person. So let's start there, with the events that I believe have shaped me as an adult, strengthened me, and changed the way I treat people in general. The first event I can remember happening was in middle school when I was sexually harassed for basically the duration of junior high. The boys who did it were suspended for two days, and that was the end of it. It didn't stop there. It continued into public high school, when I was sexually assaulted. I only ever old a few of my closest friends because I didn't know if anyone would believe me, and it wasn't r...

I was having breakfast with a couple of my girlfriends a couple of weekends back. Another thing I hadn't done in a really, really long time since I had isolated myself so far from all of my friendships. One of them is a mother, the other is child free in a long distance marriage. All three of us have dealt with mental illness in one way or another. We've all posted about it on social media, made light of it. But we had never really sat down and talked about it. I had never really talked about it with someone who completely understood where I was coming from. I literally disappeared for months, maybe even years, from my friends' lives. I struggle so hard with the fear of abandonment and as I was in my victim mode, I always felt most alone when I would see pictures of them out doing something, when I was inside caring for my children. The postpartum depression started after I had my son, my eldest. He was born with a complex medical condition. The pregnancy was unplanne...