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The Beginning of an Era

Two days before New Years Eve, I finished packing the remainder of my belongings from my old house that I shared with my now ex-husband.
My boyfriend was there every step of the way to help packing things up and unload them into my storage unit here in town.

I had a lot of built up anxiety about the situation because I felt like it was going to be a very emotional event.
The only time I almost cried was because of the way my kids' belongings were treated. There was a shed with sort of a bay attached, and all of mine and the kids' belongings were out there. Some things had dirt and dust layer upon layer on them, other things like some inherited items from my late great-grandmother had mildew from sitting out in the weather.
I wonder what it's like to be the kind of person who can just throw anything away without even thinking twice about it.
I think to myself that this couldn't have been the man I married, but I realize that he hasn't changed a bit.
I realize that all of my efforts to change myself - and being involved in a genuine, healthy relationship - has made me realize that he hasn't changed at all.
I thought my divorce was the end of something, but it wasn't. It was the beginning:

It was the beginning of my self-discovery.
It was the beginning of my recovery.
It was the beginning of my independence.
It was the beginning of a new kind of relationship.
One where I am respected, trusted, adored.
It was the beginning of the life that everyone deserves to live.

I am so happy to have all of my belongings at home.
I am excited to see what 2018 brings me because inevitably I will be moving out of my parents' house since they are moving away.
For the first time in my life I will be fully on my own, and it's a really scary, but really good feeling.

I'm feeling more confident than I have in a long time, and it's because of those who have supported me along the way that I am where I am today.
I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself, that I can and I will do this.



"What you are afraid to do is a clear indication
of the next thing you need to do."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson


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